Assistant Referee and Gomes conspire in Chelsea win

It’s hard to like Hurelho Gomes these days. He makes things really difficult for himself and has managed to sink Tottenham several times in his flip-flop season. He’s an eccentric; he puts in fantastic saves one minute and commits schoolboy errors the next. Certainly, consistency between the sticks isn’t his strong point.

He’s got a number of names, with Mr. Octopus the kindest among them. He’s lived up to it once more and pretty much ended his side’s hopes of piping Manchester City to 4^th place.

India’s favourite independence day film Lagaan (that starred Aamir Khan who leads a village cricket team to victory against British officers) shows the villagers practicing catching the ball by running after chicken. Perhaps Gomes needs something like that because Tony Parks’ best efforts aren’t paying off. After a great last season he’s back to his nervous old self reminiscent of 2008. Quite why he suffers sudden bouts of extreme stage fright is a mystery. Surely, strikers don’t charge at him wearing hideous gorilla masks. Or does he perhaps require opposition players to say, “Are ya scared lad? Don’t worry we’ll be dressed as teddy bears and won’t give you a fright with any hard balls”.

After spilling Cristiano Ronaldo’s sitter earlier this month and now allowing Lampard’s shot to squeeze in under him, he’s put paid to the dreams of Spurs fans. Of course, he was supported by that jackass Andre Marriner and his fathead assistant, neither of whom was close enough to tell if the ball had crossed the line. I’ve got no complaints against the second goal – one of those inexplicable lapses of concentration – but there’s no doubt Chelsea were lucky to win.

To be fair to Gomes, he’s had to face flak for his high profile errors whereas his team mates have gotten away with their lacklustre performance in the league, they’ve simply underperformed against powerhouses like West Brom, Wigan, Newcastle and West Ham. They got too carried away with their Champions League fairytale to give the focus on their bread and butter. But then, I wouldn’t expect them to finish 2^nd the same season as they played demanding CL fixtures, Spurs just aren’t that prepared to challenge on multiple fronts yet. I’m just glad they’re getting there and if they keep up the progress, I’m more than willing wait for the two or three seasons it’ll take to become one of the best sides in the country. 


Until then, ‘pehle murgi pakadna seekh Gomes’ – roughly translated as ‘learn to catch chicken fist Gomes’. Couldn’t resist.