Travelling through Zombieland

Ever had one of those days when you feel you've left part of yourself lying on the bed in spite of feeling fully conscious? Over the course of the next 500-odd words i'm going to make a very big deal of not having slept enough last night. And the following not-heading-anywhere is completely justified since it comes from a boy that averages 9 hours a night and would like to keep it that way for as long as is possible.

I'm pretty sure I sleepwalked through today, some of the parts are fuzzy but I clearly remember eating two meals. I wasn't sure I'd wake up on time but somehow I was more than awake when the alarm rang. At that time it didn't seem like only five hours had passed since hitting the hay. But it was only around 9.30 am, after the first blast of wakefulness was wearing off and coffee failed that I realised my purpose for today. I was meant to disable the alarm and snore away till well past noon. I'm not sure what was supposed to follow but it did include shitting my pants upon realizing that I'd skipped an important submission. But as with everything else, I know I did nothing about it and just went back to sleep post the momentary panic and pant-soiling.

Let's step away from the hypothetical for a minute. What did happen instead was a lot of nodding and lolling, my head was dangerously close to falling off its hinges and into my lap every time I sat down, except when I was eating. My eyes couldn't have been more than half open for more than a few seconds at a time and when added to my general slob-ish appearance, I pretty much looked like something the cat dragged in after a particularly wild night out on the streets. There were times when I had no control over myself. I kept singing snatches of 'I Can't Stay' and 'Boots' by The Killers, 'Only the Young by Brandon Flowers, 'Ruby' by Kaiser Chiefs, Kings of Leon – 'Holy Roller Novocaine' and 'Pyro' and some other songs I don't recall in the middle of complete quietness, like out of the blue when I was walking towards and bathroom and back. Thankfully, I didn't bump into anyone I knew that could pronounce me loony.

Sure I can account for a lot of time when I register zero brain activity and general zombieness but today took that strange feeling to the limit. I was doing everything from buying tickets and crossing the road, to perfectig my QuarkXpress and talking to people very mechanically. I've never felt this detached from my body, it's almost as if I was observing myself moving about on a perfectly normal day from a distance. The entire point of the day seemed to return to the bed. Funnily enough, now that I'm two feet away, it suddenly doesn't seem inviting.

I left most of brain behind when I got off the bed in the morning, taking with me just enough to make it through the day safely, to guarantee an existence. I have every intention of sleeping in tomorrow and coming close to the 9-hour mark I'm comfortable with. I'd love to dream some kind of weird fantasy involving a young naked Will Smith and the Himalayas but my best dreams have never happened after being very sleep-deprived.

I've allowed this to become way longer than intended so I think I'll go hug my pillow now. Night folks.